Searching for my Guardian Angel

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Just now, I had a conversation with GOD.

Me: GOD, why I am neither fat nor thin, neither tall nor short, neither good looking nor bad-looking? Just why I look so painfully normal?
GOD: My child, so that you can look from the point of view of an average person. Yet to me, you are such a special being!

Me: GOD, why do I have to wear braces? I want to have a perfect set of pearly whites to smile. I am in love with smiles....of others.
GOD: My child, I want you to learn to smile not just with the face, but with your whole heart. I want you to feel the magic of smiling with sincerity and kindness no matter how you look like.

Me: GOD, why life is not a bed of roses yet filled with much hardship and obstacles?
GOD: My child, all these is to make you a stronger being. As the saying goes: things that cannot bring you down will make you stronger.

Me: GOD, why do I have to meet the person I dislike and do the things I fail to do over and over?
GOD: My child, I am trying to give you a second chance. Learn to embrace your enemies and to tolerate if not appreciate the woeful things.

Me: GOD, why human beings experience torments from pain and illness consistently?
GOD: My child, this is to make them appreciate their healthy and prime times more.

Me: GOD, why a loved one is so hard to find and even harder to keep?
GOD: My child, in this way when you meet your special one, you will feel so blessed with happiness that you will give your whole life and never let it go.

Me: GOD, I just feel myself withering and dying as my life is gone day by day.
GOD: No my child, you are the lucky one to be still living now. As your life will eventually come to an end, you should try to make it meaningful and without regret.

Me: GOD, why am I talking to myself?
Christal: Gosh, I guess that you are just too tired...ZzzZzz

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 12:00 PM

Friday, March 10, 2006

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 12:53 PM

Miss,
is when you are INCOMPLETE without that part of you.
Miss,
is when you LOSE something and you WANT it back to you.
Miss,
is a game of lost and found, YARNING for it to RETURN.
Miss,
is when your heart BLEEDS to think it is not around anymore.
Miss,
is with a possibility of losing it FOREVER...
yet I STILL MISS U badly with all my heart.

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 7:42 AM

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Yesterday, a humming bird had flown into my computer room while I was alone at home. What a lovely creature: a bright yellow belly which goes elegantly with a pretty navy back. It was all perfect except it chirped a lot and flew about the room as though it was back home.

You know I am most afraid of Unwelcomed Flying Obejct. (formulae: fear=velocityxsize/distance between me and the object)So, I went to get an umbrella...to shield myself. As though it knew I was afraid of it, it started to fly towards me again and again! I was really in a pathetic state and shivered under the umbrella.

No, I am not scared of the birds on the street. I would in fact chase after them merrily if I am actually in a good mood. Also, for birds flying to my air-con casing, I would provide them with my bread if I have leftover.

But...a bird that chases after you everywhere you try to hide is not a joke! Especially, it is no other than a humming bird which hums a lot and flutters its wings even more. Thus, I was literally in tears when it was playing its prank on me.

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 7:44 AM

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Yo~ Now is the time to exercise again!!!

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 1:59 PM

Friday, March 03, 2006

Walking down the PSML flooded with sparkling neon lights and deafening music, my mind is in twirls...

It has been a long time since I board on a non-airconditioned double decker and as usual, I went to upstairs. The night is silent with gentle breeze blowing against my face and misty moon hanging in the sky, as if guiding me towards inner peace.

"Hello Christal. This is...” before finishing of the sentence, I had put down the phone. A most ordinary greeting from a familiar yet faraway voice has broken down everything completely. As if it is a spell, it has smashed the castle that I had worked so hard to bulit to protect, to defend, to safeguard myself, into million pieces. Slowly, all the memory is haunting me back and I feel myself dissolving into nothingness...

perhaps, by not reading the sms-es and answering the calls, i feel today remains like any other day before it...

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 11:15 PM

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