Searching for my Guardian Angel

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Recently, a lot of people have commented that I am strong and I do not know to be happy or not. Well, I guess most of the time I am more of stubborn than strong.

I do not like to borrow things from people, be it umbrella, money etc. For one, I can be very blur. I used to leave my umbrella under my company's staircase for more than a week before bringing it back. At the same time, I do not like to request for help easily. It is not very difficult to be a ninjia and "siam" rain all the way home, is it?

I remembered when I was in Nanyang to take up swimming as my CCA in secondary one, my coach said I should not stay in the CCA as I could not swim then. Boy, I was so furious about it that I went to vow to take it up immediately! During that holiday, I went swimming with my friend during day and practiced alone at night. Within a week, I had picked up swimming despite an incident of getting almost drowned.

When I was studying at Temasek last time, I rented a room by myself due to the long traveling distance (Boon Lay to Bedok mind you). This means I ate, washed clothes, and cleaned room all by myself. There was once I vomited and had high fever for about two days and did not visit the doctor as I did not want to break the promise by my dad to bring me to the clinic.

Looking back, I knew I was head strong to accept help due to my pride and ego. But what about the pride and ego of the helper who is there genially wanting to lend a helping hand? (pitying is NOT included!!!) By accepting their help, you would be helped and they would feel happy, is it not a win-win situation?

Who wants to put on a strong front when there is a shoulder to lean on? But I know I would just be a parasite if I stay in the comfort zone for too long. Yet who is there to say a cactus need not be cared, loved and protected?

I have just made a promise to myself that no matter what happens, I will not lose my courage, confidence and cheerfulness. I believe tomorrow will be a better day, definitely!

P/S: Yea, yea, I have been stuck at home for almost a month. Stop telling me how fun those camps are. It is none of my business. GRRR!

pursuing my happiness with passion@| 4:08 PM

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